I imagine comfort zone like a small, cozy island in the middle of a big ocean. On this island, everything is familiar and safe. You know every tree, every rock, and every path. It’s a nice place to live, but after a while, it can get boring because there’s nothing new to see or do. Now, think of the ocean around your island as full of opportunities and new experiences.
Stepping off your island and into the ocean can be scary because you don’t know what you’ll find. The water might be rough, and you might face challenges. But it’s also where you can discover amazing new things. When you decide to leave your island and explore the ocean, you start finding new islands.
Each new island is like learning a new skill, meeting new people, or having new adventures. These new islands have things your old island didn’t – more resources, beautiful views, and exciting activities. Every new island you find makes you stronger and more confident. (Now, this is sounding like the Moana movie! Haha)
By leaving your comfort zone, you get to see and experience so much more. It can be tough at times, but the new skills you learn and the exciting things you discover make it all worth it!
Now, let me share my journey of stepping off my small island and into the vast ocean of opportunities. I hope this story helps you overcome your fears and embrace growth. When I first moved to the United States from the Philippines, my self-esteem and self-confidence took a major hit. As a first-generation immigrant, it was difficult to transition into a new place where I didn’t have family or friends. Despite knowing how to speak English, it’s still a second language, and I had so many insecurities about that. If you want to know how I managed to improve my English, please read my other blog entry, “How I Got Better in English.”
I didn’t have good English, and I was always afraid of having an accent when I spoke, so I barely interacted with anyone outside of my husband’s family. I felt small, insignificant, and inferior to everyone.
I remember feeling really self-conscious and uncomfortable answering the phone in the office because I thought everyone around me might hear me saying the wrong things. There were so many doubts in my head.
Finally, in 2018, I hit rock bottom. I got depressed and felt like I was in a hole so deep, I didn’t know how to get out of it. I didn’t realize at that time that it was the silver lining I had been waiting for. (If you wish to know how I got over my depression, read my blog entry on “My JourneyThrough Depression.”)
It is true what they say: you will be broken before you can be mended. I was broken for a long time and didn’t realize it until I hit depression. There were many limiting beliefs and values that were preventing me from growing:
1) False beliefs from childhood: A fortune teller back when I was a child predicted that one of the children (between me and my sister) would lead a miserable life, and everyone in my family predicted that to be me. (Read the whole story here: Icebreaker Speech)
– I learned that no one else can dictate my success but me. I am the captain of my own ship, and I have the power to lead my life how I want to. Do not let anyone tell you “you can’t do something.” You are perfectly capable. Get over those limiting beliefs.
2) Overcoming the fear of rejection: I used to think that rejection meant I wasn’t good enough or didn’t deserve success, so I was always afraid to ask the question in fear of being told no, or even trying out new things in fear of not being accepted.
– I have learned that rejection is simply a redirection. I have had rejections that I thought were failures, but they ended up being for the best. One of the best things that happened was not being accepted at a job I really wanted in residential property management. I was initially heartbroken, but I ended up with my current job in commercial property management, which I enjoy so much. It has more potential for growth, and more importantly, I have the best coworkers EVER! It was the perfect redirection.
3) False beliefs about failure: Growing up, I believed that failure was something to be ashamed of, something that defined me as not good enough.
– I have learned that failure is not the opposite of success; it is part of success. Every failure is a lesson, a stepping stone towards achieving your goals. Embracing failure has allowed me to take risks and grow in ways I never thought possible. All the achievements I have today, I owe to my previous mistakes and failures as they have really taught me to be the person I am today.
My journey to growth was not easy, and I still consider myself a work in progress. I am still growing and continuing to grow. Realizing that we never stop learning and allowing ourselves to keep learning is my definition of being in the growth zone. Here are three pieces of advice I would like to share with you that helped me a lot in getting out of my comfort zone, and I hope they help you too:
1. Work on your weaknesses: Oftentimes, when we’re not good at something, we tend to just accept it and be done with it. “I’m not good with math,” “I’m bad at cooking,” “I’m not a dancer” – these are things we tell ourselves when we should be more open to learning them. This not only builds your skills but also boosts your confidence in stepping uout of your comfort zone.
– My English was not very strong, and if I had just accepted that and not worked on it, I don’t know where I would be today. I spent time every day practicing speaking and listening. I did my video journals each day, speaking on camera and expressing myself in English as practice. I read books and used my Kindle for reading so that every time there was a word I didn’t understand, all I had to do was press on it, and it would tell me what that word meant. I also made a conscious effort to join organizations like Toastmasters International to help me hone my speaking skills even more. I used to say, “I’m not good at math.” I finished an online course called Budgeting and Accounting that deals with a lot of numbers in the commercial property management industry and am now dealing with that as an everyday part of my work.
2. Push yourself to try new things: Challenge yourself to do things you’ve never done before. It could be as simple as trying a new type of cuisine, learning a new skill, or traveling to a new place. Each new experience broadens your horizons and builds your confidence.
– I made a point to try new activities, like attending public speaking clubs, studying real estate and getting my real estate license, meeting new people, and saying yes to things I wouldn’t have done or tried before. Each new experience helped me learn more about myself and what I’m capable of.
3. Surround yourself with supportive people: Find a support system of friends, family, or mentors who encourage and motivate you to take risks and step out of your comfort zone. Positive reinforcement and guidance can make a huge difference.
– Jay’s (my husband) support was crucial during my transition. He has always supported me with everything I needed to grow. Surrounding myself with supportive people in the beginning was a struggle due to the fact that I was new in the country. I surrounded myself with books of encouragement, and the authors I read were the people I surrounded myself with instead. I learned from them and felt deeply supported through the energy they emitted from their books. Now that I am in my growth journey and have met some amazing people along the way, I am truly grateful for Jay and his family, who treated me like I was one of their own. I am also deeply grateful for my kids, my mom and my sister, my cousins, my friends, my coworkers at my commercial property management office, and my Argonauts club, who continually support me in this journey.
My journey has taught me that stepping out of my comfort zone has led to personal growth, increased confidence, and a more fulfilling life. So, take the leap, explore the unknown, and watch how your life transforms. Step outside of that small island today! Just dip your foot into the water outside of your little island. Baby steps. Progress, no matter how little, is still progress.
I hope my journey inspires you to take that leap into the unknown and step outside your comfort zone. The ocean of opportunities awaits, and while it might seem daunting at first, the rewards on the other side are truly transformative.
I’d love to hear about your own experiences and growth journeys! Have you faced challenges stepping out of your comfort zone? What new islands have you discovered? Share your stories and insights in the comments below. Your experiences can be a beacon of hope and encouragement for others who are navigating their own paths.
Let’s support each other and celebrate our growth together. Your story might just inspire someone else to take their first step toward their own adventure. Keep growing, keep exploring, and remember that every small step counts.